Get your point across
In 1999, Nevada resident William Junge bought a personalized license plate after purchasing his SUV. So in 2006 when the 59-year-old tried to renew the plate, he couldn’t understand why the DMV denied his application. He’d had that plate seven years. What suddenly made hoe offensive? Well, a DMV employee suddenly found the word listed in an online slang dictionary as a variation of “ho” … not to be confused with tally-ho, Westward Ho, or Ho! Ho! Ho!
Okay … but what did that have to do with Junge?
His vehicle was a Chevy Tahoe. And since tahoe was taken when he bought his vanity plate, he’d shortened to the spelling of a common gardening tool. His hoe had nothing to do with a vulgarity posted by an anonymous contributor to an urban dictionary. It seemed a silly reason for refusing to renew his tag. And in 2009, the U.S. Supreme Court agreed. But the ho, hoe, whole incident demonstrates how words can convey different things to different people. Junge was simply showing love to his sport utility vehicle—and the next thing he knew the DMV was ranting about prostitutes.
Whether you’re talking to your children, employees, or friends, here’s how to make the right word choices if you’re trying to convey …
• Confidence. Your child wants to cook dinner or wash the car. Your employee wants to lead an important project. Your friend wants to take over organizing talent for a fundraiser. Do you believe they can handle these tasks? If not, then just say no. It’s better to explain why you’d prefer to do these jobs yourself than to agree to let others take charge only to undermine their confidence with less-than-enthusiastic support.
Poor word choices:
I suppose.
We’ll see how it goes.
Are you sure you can handle it?
Don’t expect perfection.
Good word choices:
Sure!
Of course I’ll help, but I don’t think you’ll need me.
You’ll do a great job!
Don’t worry, everything will turn out fine.
• Determination. Congratulations! You’ve coached your football team to the championship. You run onto the field, the crowd screaming in anticipation. You gather your players into a huddle to for one last pregame pep talk.
Poor word choices:
I think we can do it!
Let’s give it our best shot!
We have a good chance!
We’ve come this far—so we can be proud no matter what happens!
Good word choices:
It’s ours, baby!
We control our destiny!
Ain’t nobody stopping us!
Champions in 60!!!
• Trust. Choose inclusive words that let your child/employee/friend know this is a burden you share, that you intend—as the cliché says—to walk your talk. For instance, don’t tell your kids it’s dangerous to smoke or text while driving if you’re puffing or keying in front of them. Don’t preach ethics to employees while you pad expense accounts and take extra-long lunches. Don’t give friends advice you’re not willing to take.
Poor word choices:
Do as I say, not as I do.
What’s good for me isn’t necessarily good for everyone else.
Because I’m the parent (boss), that’s why.
I do what works for me.
Good word choices:
We need to encourage each other.
The rules apply to me as much as anyone.
I struggle with this stuff just like you do.
We’re all in this together.
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Thanks, Deborah