Posts Tagged ‘positive thinking’

We’re creatures of excess. As soon as we find out something is good for us, we seem to take it to extremes. Several years ago, researchers decided people were eating too much fat. So manufacturers started to produce a lot of fat-free products. But to make up for the missing fat, they added a lot more sugar. And no one seemed to get thinner.

You wouldn’t think you could get too carried away about something as healthy as positive thinking. But some people do. They get so carried away with the importance of positive thinking that they begin to blame themselves and others anytime something bad happens to them. Obviously, if something bad has happened, it’s because someone had a rogue negative thought.

Well … poppycock!

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Did you ever stop to think that success and failure are all in your head? No, that doesn’t mean the Olympic medals Apolo Anton Ohno added to his collection at the 2010 Winter Games are a figment of his imagination. It means the champion short-track speed-skater had to make the decision to succeed or fail long before he took the ice in Vancouver.

It’s simple. If, in your mind, you believe success is possible, it is. And if, in your mind, you believe failure is inevitable, it is. You can’t necessarily ensure your success by believing in success, but at least you give yourself a fighting chance. You can, however, ensure your failure by believing in failure. If you believe failure is inevitable, your preparation will be half-hearted. Or you may stop preparing. You may stop trying. You may neglect to show up at all. Why bother? You can’t win.

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As someone who’d been self-employed since his mid-twenties, my dad understood the ups and downs of being your own boss. He knew the worries of watching your business dip with a downturned economy. He knew the responsibility of providing for your own retirement because there would be no company plan. He knew the fear of losing everything when a cancer diagnosis prompted your health insurer to cancel your policy though you’d never been late with a premium. He didn’t want his children to face similar stresses.

So when his son announced he was leaving a secure management job with a major retail chain so he could gamble on law school, Daddy was not happy. Some parents may dream of their children becoming doctors or lawyers. My dad dreamed of company pensions.

To drive home the point that my brother should rethink his choice, Daddy scoured the newspapers and presented him with articles about failing attorneys. Yep, believe it or not, if you look hard enough, you can find articles about starving lawyers.

My brother was confident in his decision, shrugged off my dad’s concerns, and is now a successful partner in his own law firm. My dad couldn’t be prouder. And the major retail chain where my brother had his “secure” management job? It went belly-up before he finished law school.

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“You have a piss-poor attitude.”

It’s an old country expression–one that will not please my mother when she discovers I’ve used it. But the thing about old country expressions is they’re quite … expressive. When you hear that phrase, you have no trouble conjuring an image of the attitude in question or remembering the last time you felt that way.

This is not the attitude to win you an affectionate squeeze from your sweetie, a gold star from your boss, or really great service at your favorite restaurant.

On the other hand, it has its good points.

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So … we’re two weeks into the new year. How’s it going?

That well? Uh-oh.

How many times have you planned to launch into a new project at work, make a serious commitment to your personal goals, renew a relationship with friends or family members, start losing weight, lay the foundation for starting your own business? You get off on the right foot with a lot of positive thinking and excited optimism.

Then reality sets in.

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“I don’t want to gain immortality through my work. I want to gain immortality by not dying.”

Of course, writer/director Woody Allen knows better. But when, despite my earnest attempts to explain otherwise, my then six-year-old nephew insisted—red-faced at the top of his lungs—just because people get old doesn’t mean they have to die!!! I didn’t have the heart to keep arguing. Passionate protests aside, I suspect he knew better, too.

When it comes to moving mountains, we understand that while we may be able to survive an accident or illness and postpone our departure for a while, death is one challenge that will eventually best us all. But beyond the last gasp, what other mountains should we learn to accept as permanent parts of our landscape? And which should we fight to move? If you’re having trouble deciding which challenges to take on, try asking yourself these questions:

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