parenting

3 big communication mistakes

November 12th, 2009

by Deborah S. Roberts

Recently I attended a big celebratory gathering of more than 100 friends. After everyone enjoyed a huge potluck lunch, we settled down for a DVD presentation. My dad was among those asked to say a few words, so while he was speaking I got up from my table and went to sit next to my mother. It was one of those sentimental occasions that drew a lot of laughter and a few tears from the crowd. And looking around at one point, I happened to notice my friends Sarah and Whitney standing with their arms around each other at the back of the room.

Of all the mothers and daughters I know, Sarah and Whitney are the duo that most remind me of the relationship I have with my own mom. Though Whitney is an independent woman carving out her own unique path in life (www.myspace.com/whitneyhogan), she maintains a special closeness with her mom.

But relationships like Sarah and Whitney’s don’t just happen by magic or luck. They take a lot of work. Watching them through the years, I know Sarah directed much of her parenting effort the same way my mother did—toward effective communication. They approached parenting from different perspectives: My mother worked full-time outside the home while Sarah was a stay-at-home mom. Both also had many responsibilities on behalf of their extended families. But when their children needed to talk, they were there to listen.

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