mother daughter

3 big communication mistakes

November 12th, 2009

by Deborah S. Roberts

Recently I attended a big celebratory gathering of more than 100 friends. After everyone enjoyed a huge potluck lunch, we settled down for a DVD presentation. My dad was among those asked to say a few words, so while he was speaking I got up from my table and went to sit next to my mother. It was one of those sentimental occasions that drew a lot of laughter and a few tears from the crowd. And looking around at one point, I happened to notice my friends Sarah and Whitney standing with their arms around each other at the back of the room.

Of all the mothers and daughters I know, Sarah and Whitney are the duo that most remind me of the relationship I have with my own mom. Though Whitney is an independent woman carving out her own unique path in life (www.myspace.com/whitneyhogan), she maintains a special closeness with her mom.

But relationships like Sarah and Whitney’s don’t just happen by magic or luck. They take a lot of work. Watching them through the years, I know Sarah directed much of her parenting effort the same way my mother did—toward effective communication. They approached parenting from different perspectives: My mother worked full-time outside the home while Sarah was a stay-at-home mom. Both also had many responsibilities on behalf of their extended families. But when their children needed to talk, they were there to listen.

Read the rest of this entry »