My mom has always warned me that once you’ve put your foot in your mouth, no good can come from going back later and trying to explain what you really meant to say. After ignoring her advice a few too many times–and winding up with two feet in my mouth–I’ve decided she’s right.

Paul “Bear” Bryant had been coaching football for 46 of his 69 years. So when he stood at the podium for his final post-game press conference as head coach at the University of Alabama in December 1982, it was only natural that some reporter would ask what he planned to do after retiring. Coach Bryant answered that without football, he’d “probably croak in a week.”

On the bulletin board beside my desk is a sign that reads “The ultimate inspiration is the deadline,” a quote attributed to Nolan Bushnell, cofounder of Atari. Truer words were never spoken. Much as I hate to admit it, many times I’ve put off my own writing projects because … sigh … the muse just isn’t with me today. But something magical seems to happen when I sign a contract and commit to a deadline. I can be staring at a blank computer screen and beating my head on the keyboard at four in the morning—but the story will be written, edited, proofed, and ready to go by eight. Somehow just knowing I’m on deadline has the power to fire up my creative spirit.

You’re already running behind when, as you’re buckling your screaming toddler into the car, you notice he’s wearing two different types of shoes. You back over a toy on your way out of the garage, get stuck in a nightmarish traffic jam, finally drop off the kids, and wind up being the last straggler to the daily staff meeting. The boss decides to single you out as an example of people who do a poor job scheduling their mornings. And since you were late, you lost your chance to volunteer for the plum assignments and wind up being assigned to chaperone past board members during the upcoming annual meeting.

My dad doesn’t have many negative traits, but somehow he managed to pass those he does have to me. Neither of us suffer fools gladly, though at least he’s usually wise enough not to engage them in pointless discussions—something I’m still trying to learn. We’re both hopeless pack rats. And if procrastinating were an Olympic event, we’d both have more medals than American swimmer Michael Phelps. But Daddy would have the gold.

You know you’re one of the recognized experts in your field when a) you’re being booked by everyone from the morning news shows to CNN’s Larry King to Oprah, and b) you’re being lampooned on Saturday Night Live. Financial whiz Suze Orman is definitely one of the leading experts in her field.

If you’re looking for encouragement for your weight-loss efforts, you don’t necessarily have to opt for a top-of-the-line support system. According to research published in the Canadian Medical Association Journal, a low-budget program will work just as well.

Sometimes I get to the end of my day, look back—and see nothing. Okay, I got out of bed? Obviously. Worked out? Yep. Showered? Uh-huh. Spent the day working … making phone calls … sending e-mails … doing all day’s the required activities? Check, check, check, and check.

In a 2001 interview about the art of comedy, Jerry Seinfeld said that, though he isn’t offended by cursing, he doesn’t use it in his routines because it’s a cheat.