But if you think Orman was born with a gift for understanding and overcoming financial chaos, think again. Orman’s earliest relationship with money wasn’t built on know-how, but on fear.

In her best-selling book The 9 Steps to Financial Freedom, Orman says that as a young child, she learned from her parents that money was a source of stress, not contentment. Money caused worry, tension, unhappiness, and strife. Money sometimes drove a wedge between her parents. And money nearly cost her father his life.

Money matters

Orman’s father owned a small chicken shack where he sold take-out chicken, ribs, hamburgers, and fries. It wasn’t a gold mine, by any means. The family made just enough to get by.

One day when Orman was about 13, the frying oil caught fire and the shack quickly went up in flames. Her father was fortunate enough to escape the building unharmed. But just as Orman and her mother arrived at the scene, he realized he’d left the cash register inside. Before anyone could stop him, her father ran back into the inferno.

Battling the thick smoke and flames, he made his way to the cash register. First, he tried to open the cash drawer, but it had already melted shut. So in desperation, he clasped the searing-hot metal register to his chest and ran back out into the street. When he dropped the register on the ground, the scalding metal tore the flesh from his arms and chest, leaving him badly burned. He later developed emphysema from smoke inhalation.

Her father’s desperate action taught Orman an important lesson: Money must be even more important than life itself.

Gold rush

After that incident, Orman devoted herself to amassing as much wealth as she possibly could. She didn’t see her earnings as a means to an end, as a way to support a fulfilling lifestyle. Money was the end—and there was nothing fulfilling about it. Eventually she became an extremely wealthy broker with a large investment firm. But her life was empty. Money may have bought her security, but it hadn’t bought her happiness.

Finally, as Orman became increasingly aware that something was missing in her life, she began to rethink her views about money and the life events that had shaped those views. She realized that her childhood experiences had helped mold her attitude and she began working to put money in its proper perspective.

Orman stopped thinking of money as something to fear or something to hoard, but instead began to see it as something that could help meet her needs as long as she gave it the necessary attention. And once she made peace with her past, she was able to create both a fulfilling life and a satisfying career.