It’s a tired cliché, but in my case it’s true: I’m a people person. No, I’m not annoyingly peppy, but I could probably make friends with a tree stump. When nothing’s on the line, I have no problem chatting with complete strangers in stores, doctor’s waiting rooms, post offices. But ask me to go somewhere and network … Network? Gadzooks!  You might as well be asking me to bungee jump from the Golden Gate Bridge.

For some reason, the idea of networking to further our careers scares a lot of us to death. Maybe it’s the idea that something is riding on our ability to be gracious and charming. Maybe we feel disingenuous about socializing to get ahead. But whatever the reason, we balk. And we fail to cultivate the contacts we need to help us connect to the opportunities we’d like to have.

If, like me, you’re a bit bashful about networking, try these suggestions to help overcome your reluctance:

• Reframe your views of networking. Don’t think of networking as using others to get what you want. Look at it this way. If your best friend were a diehard Miami Dolphins fan and you could get him cut-rate season tickets, wouldn’t you make the offer? And after getting him cut-rate Dolphins tickets, you wouldn’t hesitate to ask for an invite to the New York Jets game since that’s your favorite team, would you? Well, congratulations: You’re a successful networker. Networking isn’t about bilking people for favors. It’s about finding opportunities for give and take.

• Don’t reinvent the wheel. So you haven’t made a conscious decision to engage in strategic networking? That doesn’t mean you’ll be starting from square one. You already have a network. Take out a pad and pen. Jot down all your close friends, colleagues, and family members. Beside each name list the person’s occupation and hobbies. Now you have a networking notebook. You know whom to call for help or where to send a referral who has questions on any of these issues. As you meet new people or learn new facts about the ones you already know, keep adding to the list. You’ll be a master networker before you know it.