As humans we have many splendid qualities … and a few failings. One of our less commendable characteristics is a tendency to dislike and distrust people based on surface differences without taking the trouble to learn who they are inside. Even the most reasonable among us are sometimes influenced by stereotypes about race, religion, ethnicity, national origin, political persuasion, and regionality. As a result, we shortchange people we don’t know—and miss the opportunity for interesting and enriching interactions.

When you feel pulled to judge or dismiss someone for superficial reasons, try to:

• Look beyond surface issues. When a conservative Utah attorney named Orrin Hatch made his first bid for the U.S. Senate in 1976, his primary platform was: “Send me to Washington to fight Ted Kennedy.” To Hatch, the long-serving liberal Massachusetts senator was the enemy. Shortly after arriving on Capitol Hill, the freshman senator described Kennedy in his private journal: “One of the three or four I find basically nothing good to say about.”

But as Lee Roderick reported in his biography, Leading the Charge: Orrin Hatch and 20 Years of America, the pair managed to become fast friends while wrangling on the Labor Committee. In time they became known as the Odd Couple of the Hill—”fighting brothers,” according to Hatch—working together to pass important bipartisan legislation. “I choose to look for the good in Ted Kennedy,” Hatch journaled in the early 1990s. “There is at least one side of him that is absolutely excellent. The other side leaves a little bit to be desired, and I have been making that clear to Ted as well.”

• Let humanity be your guide. Harold Lowe was a conscientious man. The Welshman and Fifth Officer of the Titanic was the only lifeboat commander who returned to search for survivors following the famous ship’s sinking. The first he spotted was an unconscious Asian who’d used ropes to lash himself to a floating door. But Lowe’s bigotry momentarily bested him. “There’s others better worth saving than a Jap,” passengers heard him say as he ordered to boat to move on. But apparently it wasn’t in Lowe to just abandon another human being, so without further comment, he turned back and picked him up.

According to the account of passenger Charlotte Collyer, others aboard began working to revive the half-frozen man, who soon opened his eyes and began moving about to restore his circulation. As soon as he was able, the Asian took an oar from an exhausted sailor and diligently rowed until they were rescued.

“I’m ashamed of what I said,” Lowe later told the passengers, “I’d save the likes of him six times over, if I got the chance.”

• Treat others as you’d want to be treated.  In 1947 Major League baseball welcomed the first black player to the diamond. But just because the power brokers behind America’s national pastime were ready to integrate the sport didn’t mean the public and players were anxious to go along. News that the Brooklyn Dodgers had signed former Negro League great Jackie Robinson wasn’t welcomed with cheers in the clubhouse. In fact, some players even started circulating a petition vowing they wouldn’t take the field with the new recruit.

And then the petition reached team captain Harold Henry “Pee Wee” Reese.

The All Star shortstop from Kentucky was the team’s most valuable—and most popular—player. When he refused to sign, the petition quietly died. He was the first to shake Robinson’s hand. And when fans at the Dodgers’ first away game in Cincinnati began jeering, Reese silenced them simply by walking over and putting a friendly arm around Robinson’s shoulder. Despite death threats against Robinson and anyone near him, Reese was never far away. Ignoring the external differences between them, Robinson and Reese became great friends and one of the best defensive tandems in baseball history.