‘Tis the season for spending time with family and friends, for renewing acquaintances, for cookies and cocoa and Christmas stockings.

But for many people it’s a season to be reminded that you’ve lost loved ones with whom you once shared the holidays, another year has passed and your life isn’t where you’d hoped it would be, you’re unemployed or in debt and unable to shop with the abandon you’d like, or maybe you’re just lonely and depressed.

You can’t change your circumstances, but perhaps you can change the way you feel about them. Holidays stir so many memories that people can’t help but dwell on what’s missing from their lives. Shift your attention by taking a few moments each day to create a list of all the things that still make you smile about the season. And if your list seems short, try to think of ways to fill it. If you don’t have anywhere to spend Christmas, consider volunteering at a shelter or food bank. Helping others will take your mind off your troubles. No, it’s not the family holiday you once had. But you may start a new tradition that will bring you more satisfaction than you expected … and more pleasure than being alone.