Making people listen
Dwight Wymer had something important to say. But his students simply would not pay attention. So he thumbed through magazine articles by colleagues looking for motivational tips, discovered what seemed an excellent suggestion, and purchased the necessary equipment. The pastor was ready that summer Monday in 1981 when the seven- and eight-year-old boys arrived to start Vacation Bible School at Immanuel Baptist Church in Grand Rapids, Mich.
When the children became distracted, Wymer simply directed them to take their place on his newly constructed “electric stool.” He admonished, “God warns us—if we can learn to listen” … then he zapped the unsuspecting kids with an electric shock. Following the article’s instructions, he’d lined the stool with wire screens, hooked those to a six-volt battery and a transformer coil, and connected the contraption to a push-button switch.
Though he didn’t really understand what all the fuss was about, Wymer agreed to give up his new teaching-tool … at the county prosecutor’s insistence.
Much as we might want to cattle-prod people into paying attention to us, that’s a little extreme. And even if we could make them listen, we couldn’t make them hear. Our best hope of being taken seriously and getting our message across is remembering the three C’s:
1. Credibility. It’s not necessary to recite your résumé before offering an opinion. But if just last week you successfully plugged a gushing oil well in the Mediterranean, by all means toss in that bit of info before offering an opinion on how to plug the one in the Gulf. People will pay more attention to those who have real-world experience or applicable education, or to those in an urgent situation who have a pressing need to be heard.
2. Confidence. My brother, a criminal defense attorney, once walked into a courtroom before session to find families on opposing sides of a case about to come to blows. With a few firm words, he convinced both parties to take their seats before the conflict escalated and the bailiff was called. When I asked how he managed to diffuse such a volatile situation so quickly, he said, “If you speak with authority
3. Content. Have something relevant to say. No, you don’t have to churn out wisdom in every conversation like a modern-day Mark Twain. But on those occasions when you make an issue of your expertise and attempt to speak with some kind of authority, don’t waste everyone’s time by reciting some craziness you spotted on the cover of a supermarket tabloid or picked up from a source you haven’t verified, or make an inappropriate comment or joke that trivializes the discussion. Give your listeners something worthwhile, and you won’t have to work as hard to get their attention next time.
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Thanks, Deborah
Hi I was a member of a youth group at Merriman Road Baptist Church in the 1970s. Dwight Wymer (article on shocking kids) was my youth pastor there. I was recently looking for him to see 1) if he was still alive and 2) to contact him. First i want to say this whole issue of shocking was blown so far out of proportion. it was hilarious to us all and kind of a rite of passage back in the day. We all had our turn at it, either on the stool or even one time holding hands for prayer. It was so funny, even at age 13 I thought it was hilarious and it actually drove a point home. You did end up listening at times to very discreet things he said and you were all the better for it because you learned how to listen. It wasn’t this taskmaster concept i read everywhere. he wasn’t trying to “TEACH US A LESSON OR ELSE” type of thing. It was just one of the many tools he used as a youth pastor. he was also an awesome ventriloquist and had us rolling even at the “grown up church.” in this day when Facebook and Youtube and alot of social media is around us I have started as have millions of others, looking for old friends. to find only this coming up on my friend is kind of a bummer. It’s sad we remember things like this in a negative light so much that we only see people thru that one moment in time. he was so much more.
Maurice, thank you so much for writing to give the student’s perspective on your pastor. But please don’t think of the article as putting him in a negative light because that wasn’t my intention. I do a lot of research to illustrate these topics with true-life tales, and this seemed a perfect fit. The details came from news articles published at the time. And yes, the media slant was stern. But I’d hoped my take and the accompanying photo indicated a more tongue-in-cheek view. Dwight Wymer and I must be kindred spirits because I thought the whole thing was hilarious. And I specifically mentioned that the idea came from other pastors so he wouldn’t appear to be some kind of lone crackpot.
Your old friend has brought a lot of laughter to my family, friends, and to me through this article just as he did to his students and parishioners. That’s a nice legacy. Hope you’ll visit the site again.