Imagine you’re traveling in a foreign country and a man you’ve just met comes stumbling toward you through a crowded marketplace, collapsing into your arms with a dagger plunged into his back. Just before he dies, he whispers to you that a head of state is about to be assassinated.

Fans of film director Alfred Hitchcock will recognize that as the plot to the 1956 version of The Man Who Knew Too Much, starring Jimmy Stewart and Doris Day. And of course, that tidbit of unwanted information plunges the tourist into a world of trouble.

These days most of us can identify.

Our friends and colleagues may not be sharing the details of an international intrigue, but they’re definitely sharing—and it’s often more than we want or need to hear. Unlike their more close-mouthed predecessors, the Oprah and Twitter generations tell all in sometimes graphic detail. The problem is that the stories may draw unwitting listeners into dramas they’d rather skip. How can you tell if a conversation is too personal or too risky? Ask yourself these questions:

• Are you twisting? Have you looked over your shoulder and glanced up and down the hallway to see whether you can be overheard? If you’re that concerned, think twice about sharing the information. Is it really appropriate to share this info in this setting? Should you wait until, for instance, you’re out to lunch with your audience instead of whispering in the workplace hallway? Or should you keep this to yourself? Before you continue, stop and think about what’s in your best interest.

• Are you uncomfortable? Is someone making a racist joke or launching into a political diatribe that’s inappropriate for the workplace? Is someone making personal comments about a mutual friend or colleague? If the story makes you squirm, it’s probably best left untold. But if you say nothing, you’re implying that you have no problem with the nature of the discussion. That implied consent could come back to haunt you if it’s ever alleged that you or your company tolerated harassment or created a hostile work environment for others. If you’re uncomfortable, speak up. Either say you’re uncomfortable, change the subject, or walk away.

• Are you turning red? Just because a friend or coworker feels okay with telling everyone about his wife’s expertise on their personal stripper pole or sharing the details of her marriage-counseling session doesn’t mean you’re okay with hearing it. Don’t be afraid to tell people you don’t want to talk about their sex lives or share yours. If they don’t like it, too bad. Getting in a snit about your refusal to open your personal baggage for public perusal is a good indicator that your friend/colleague has a maturity issue. So better safe than sorry. Never silence your instincts in these situations. Once the information’s out, it’s too late to take it back.