2 ways to regroup after failure
Almost a half-century after it was released, Days of Wine and Roses, starring Jack Lemmon
and Lee Remick
, is still considered one of the film community’s most realistic depictions of addiction. And perhaps the most harrowing moment in this study of a couple’s downward spiral from middle-class success to alcoholic nightmare is what’s known as the greenhouse scene. Lemmon’s character, Joe Clay, has hidden a flask among his father-in-law’s prized plants, and in a desperate frenzy, destroys the greenhouse trying to find it.
Lemmon was nominated for an Oscar, a Golden Globe, and a host of other awards for his riveting portrayal of Clay, especially in the pivotal greenhouse scene. But what most filmgoers didn’t realize was that the famous scene was a retake. In the original, Lemmon gave what he believed was the best performance of his career. But there was a glitch and the footage was lost. He had to find a way to summon that powerful, gut-wrenching emotion a second time.
You’ve probably had similar experiences. You’ve given it your all and lost 30, 50, 100 pounds … only to gain it back and face having to fight that battle all over again. You’ve struggled for years to build a marriage … only to have it fail and send you back to Start in the Dating Game. You’ve worked to climb the ladder of success rung by rung … only to have the economy hit bottom and leave you wondering how you’ll pay your bills.
Like Jack Lemmon, you’re wondering how you can possibly summon the strength and emotion to manage a retake. But you can. Remember:
• You know what to do. You’ve traveled this path before. You know you have what it takes to make this journey. You may be tired and discouraged, but you’re better equipped than any novice to do it again. Remind yourself that your experience is an asset, not a liability. Think back on your early achievements. List the unique qualities you have that helped you get where you were. Those same qualities can help you recreate that success. You just have to believe in your ability to do it again.
• You know what not to do. Look at this as an opportunity to correct past mistakes. Perhaps on your first weight-loss journey, you failed to build the muscle mass that would have enabled you to burn even more calories during your resting hours. Obviously, though you believed your marriage was successful, you and your spouse failed to communicate effectively when you began to grow apart. Although you worked your way up the ladder, you didn’t have as much security as you imagined once you reached the top. As you recreate your past success, you have the chance to make the necessary adjustments to avoid the same pitfalls that sabotaged you the first time around. This time, like Lemmon’s performance in the film, you can make your success a lasting one.
I'm anxious to receive your feedback on the articles, but please be patient with the moderating. Comments are usually posted within 24 hours (except during major holidays).
Thanks, Deborah