Finished with your holiday shopping? How did it go? Did you spend a lot of time second-guessing yourself? Calling friends, your spouse, your parents and asking them to validate your choices or help you make a decision? Do you sometimes wish you were one of those people who seem easily able to decide for themselves?

Then why don’t you try to become one of those people?

Infants don’t pop out of the womb declaring “Actually, Mom, if you’re not going to breast feed, I’d prefer the added-rice formula to the cow’s milk.” People must learn to become good decision makers. Try this advice:

• Target the issue. Don’t start considering alternatives until you’re clear on the question. It’s too easy—especially for novice decision makers—to blow problems out of proportion or to head off on tangents. Make sure you spend a few moments jotting down exactly what you’re trying to resolve: Should I go to the game with my friends? Is this the best car for my needs? Do I really want to try for this promotion? Once you can simply state the question, you can begin gathering the information necessary to arrive at a reasonable answer.

• Share the load. If you’re accustomed to letting your parents or spouse do most of the heavy lifting when it comes to making the difficult decisions in your life, start picking up your share of the load. Instead of asking these individuals what to do, ask them to act as sounding boards. Seek their advice. Say you’d like them to help you weigh the pros and cons of your options but that you want to make the final decision yourself. You’ll feel more comfortable knowing you still have them to help you through the process, but in the end, the final decision will be yours.

• Gauge your attitude. Unless you have no other option, don’t make a major decision when you’re out of sorts. If you’re physically ill, emotionally overwhelmed, exhausted, angry, frightened, or even deliriously happy, your feelings may overcome your better judgment. It’s better to make important decisions when you’re on an even keel.

• Trust your judgment. Have you made a decision? Great! Now let it go. Don’t keep second-guessing yourself or asking others whether they think you’ve done the right thing. What’s done is done. Move on. If things don’t turn out as well as you’d hoped. Then you can rethink your options and try another alternative. But give it time. Sometimes it takes a while for things to right themselves. And even if they don’t, experience is the best teacher.