Men … are you tired? Run down? Listless? Do you poop out at parties?

Well, the answer to your problems is not in Lucy Ricardo’s famous bottle of Vitameatavegamin. Oh noooo. The answer to your chronic fatigue may well be lying in bed next to you … masking her evil with an innocent expression.

Gentlemen, if there’s a woman in your life, there’s a 25 percent chance your inability to enjoy a good night’s slumber is the result of …

SLEEP ENVY!

In a recent survey conducted for Silentnight Beds, the United Kingdom’s largest bed manufacturer, one in four women admitted deliberately waking their husbands because they are jealous—yes, jealous—of the men’s ability to nod off so easily. Researchers found that it takes these women up to an hour to fall asleep while their husbands doze off in less than 10 minutes. Apparently, the sight of their husbands sleeping so peacefully awakens their inner Chucky and leads to evil child’s play . So how do these sleep-deprived wives exact their revenge?

Most take the common salad approach. They simply toss and turn their men to consciousness.

Next favorite is the subtle poke in the ribs. “Oh, honey, I’m sooo sorry! I didn’t realize you were there!”

Noise is always a good alternative. If dropping a book or turning on the television don’t work, they just start a conversation and keep talking until he answers. Some even turn on the lights to help things along.

And finally, one in 10 of these women rouse their poor unsuspecting husbands by pinching them.

So, men, if you’re unusually tired … have a vague memory of chatting during the night … or find a couple of unexplained pinch welts … maybe you’re sleeping with the enemy, too.