Archive for the ‘Self-Improvement’ Category

The best thing that can happen to lesser candidates during an election is for the head of the ticket to have long coattails. When presidents take office by decisive numbers, senators and congressional representatives, state governors and legislators, even local officeholders from the same party can ride those coattails straight into office.

But for those of us just going about our daily routines, hangers-on can be a drag. We think we’ve tossed off the negatives in our lives, but they didn’t fall as far as we’d hoped. They’re right behind us, clinging desperately, and weighing us down as we try to achieve our goals of success, peace, and happiness.

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In the classic 1944 mystery film Laura, the detective was constantly fidgeting with one of those games where you try to get a bead into a hole. He seemed to do it as much to annoy the suspects as to center himself. I love those games. The only problem is that once you get the bead in place, even the slightest movement sends it rolling off in all directions again.

Hate to admit it, but for the last few months I’ve been a lot like those beads … unable to hold center. I’ll roll aimlessly around the board trying to regroup, find my way back for a day or two, then suddenly get jarred loose and start rolling again.

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As humans we have many splendid qualities … and a few failings. One of our less commendable characteristics is a tendency to dislike and distrust people based on surface differences without taking the trouble to learn who they are inside. Even the most reasonable among us are sometimes influenced by stereotypes about race, religion, ethnicity, national origin, political persuasion, and regionality. As a result, we shortchange people we don’t know—and miss the opportunity for interesting and enriching interactions.

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Just caught a commercial for an upcoming program with actor Tim Curry playing a serial-killer type, and I couldn’t help thinking, “He looks pretty good for a dead guy.”

Several years ago, a coworker claimed she’d heard on the radio that Curry, star of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, had died. My brother happened to phone, and I passed along the erroneous news—which he’s never let me forget. Curry is one of the most booked actors in the business, and with each appearance, my brother notes, “He looks pretty good for a dead guy.”

Can’t blame my brother. He doesn’t get many opportunities to rib me about falling for wild rumors. I’m the kind who wouldn’t believe the sky was blue unless I checked it myself. To say I’m not trusting is putting it mildly. So it’s mind-boggling to me why otherwise rational people will fall for anything that arrives in their in-boxes promising: I SWEAR THIS IS TRUE. That’s usually the first indication it’s not.

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If you’re finding it difficult to get control over your food consumption, maybe all you really need is to learn how to show the food who’s boss. Just take the same approach as when your kids are misbehaving, your coworkers are getting on your nerves, your dog is chewing your slippers, and the customer-service rep is trying to deny your refund: Give that food an icy stare.

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You sorta know when a guy nicknamed “Stinky” does you a favor … well, to wind up with roses, you might have to start with manure.

Johnny “Red” Kerr wanted to be coach basketball. And he had pretty good credentials for the job. During three years at the University of Illinois, he’d scored 1,299 points to help the Fighting Illini win a Big 10 Championship. As a pro rookie, he’d helped the Syracuse Nationals win an NBA Championship. And as vice president of the ABA’s Virginia Squires, he’d demonstrated an eye for judging talent by taking a chance on then-unknown Julius Erving.

But as writer Marty Farmer recounted on the Chicago Bulls Web site, what Red really needed to make his career grow was a lot of support—and a little manure—from his old pal Stinky Fryer.

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Oooh, I just lost my temper. Some days that’s easy to do. I’ve been struggling with a pounding migraine, plus the accompanying nausea and sensitivity to light and sound, so my tolerance tank is running low.

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You know who you are. You’re the one who must make your red velvet cake look like the professionally decorated masterpiece gracing the cover of Southern Living. You’re the one who must ensure each wrapped gift under the tree resembles a work of art. You’re the one who goes into the woods in search of the perfect tree, who bakes 4500 cookies to distribute to each year, who wakes the family at exactly 6:30 a.m. on Christmas morning.

You are the holiday perfectionist.

But it’s okay if your cake has more icing on one side than another, if your gifts have stick-on bows, if you pick up a tree at the supermarket, grab some cookies at the bakery while you’re there, and if your family sleeps in. You don’t have to be Martha Stewart to impress people during the holidays … as Martha Stewart discovered during her 2004 incarceration on a stock-trading case.

Small and homey

According to People magazine, while serving her five-month term at West Virginia’s Alderson Federal Prison, Stewart led a team of fellow inmates in the holiday decorating contest. The theme was “Peace on Earth,” and each team was given $25 worth of glitter, ribbons, construction paper, and glue. But only one had a secret weapon: America’s Queen of Domesticity, the woman who published magazines offering step-by-step instructions on how to decorate for the holidays.

Stewart’s display included paper cranes that hung from the prison ceiling. But when the prize was awarded, judges preferred a “small and homey” offering from the firefighting unit—a Nativity scene with pictures of snow-covered hills, sleds, and clouds.

Sometimes simple things are simply impressive … and far less time-consuming.

‘Tis the season for spending time with family and friends, for renewing acquaintances, for cookies and cocoa and Christmas stockings.

But for many people it’s a season to be reminded that you’ve lost loved ones with whom you once shared the holidays, another year has passed and your life isn’t where you’d hoped it would be, you’re unemployed or in debt and unable to shop with the abandon you’d like, or maybe you’re just lonely and depressed.

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It’s Christmas week. You’ve got shopping, parties, family obligations. And you’re late. Late, late, late. Always late. So why are so many people on your road as you try to get where you’re going???

Well … if you live in the United States, 20 percent of the adult population is chronically late. So you’re trying to push your way through the other 41.5 million late people who’re wondering why you’re on their road.

Isn’t there a better way to get to the egg nog on time?

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