Archive for the ‘Coping’ Category

Few people juggle more problems at one time than the leader of the free world. After taking over the presidency in the worst possible circumstances—the murder of his predecessor in 1963—Lyndon Baines Johnson was managing an escalating war in Vietnam, anti-war protests at home, civil rights battles in the South, the introduction of Medicare, urban riots, the space race, and crises in the Middle East.

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As a child, did you ever read Aesop’s fable of the city mouse and the country mouse? After a visit to his cousin showed him the sparseness of country living, the city mouse reciprocated the invitation, and the country mouse ventured to the city. The country mouse was impressed by the splendid feasts available in the city’s huge garbage dumps … but he didn’t appreciate having to dodge so many cats and other dangers trying to get at them. The moral of the story: “A modest life with peace and quiet is better than a rich one with danger and strife.”

Apparently the Greek writer, who’s believed to have lived sometime in the 3^rd to 5^th century B.C., was wise beyond his time. By using functional brain imaging, researchers from the University of Heidelberg have been able to demonstrate that the brains of city and country dwellers respond differently to social stress. And that probably explains why people reared in cities are more prone to developing mental disorders.

The best thing that can happen to lesser candidates during an election is for the head of the ticket to have long coattails. When presidents take office by decisive numbers, senators and congressional representatives, state governors and legislators, even local officeholders from the same party can ride those coattails straight into office.

But for those of us just going about our daily routines, hangers-on can be a drag. We think we’ve tossed off the negatives in our lives, but they didn’t fall as far as we’d hoped. They’re right behind us, clinging desperately, and weighing us down as we try to achieve our goals of success, peace, and happiness.

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In the classic 1944 mystery film Laura, the detective was constantly fidgeting with one of those games where you try to get a bead into a hole. He seemed to do it as much to annoy the suspects as to center himself. I love those games. The only problem is that once you get the bead in place, even the slightest movement sends it rolling off in all directions again.

Hate to admit it, but for the last few months I’ve been a lot like those beads … unable to hold center. I’ll roll aimlessly around the board trying to regroup, find my way back for a day or two, then suddenly get jarred loose and start rolling again.

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Recently I was debating someone about how to improve a decades-old process that simply doesn’t work. He believes flawed, inadequate procedures are the best we can do, and considers me naive for thinking otherwise.

“Pollyanna,” he groused.

If he’d used the term appropriately, I’d have been flattered. The expression comes from the classic 1913 children’s novel by Eleanor H. Porter about a girl who manages to find something positive in the most negative circumstances. Thinking you should try to fix a flat tire instead of driving on doesn’t make you a Pollyanna—it means you have common sense. Thinking when your tire goes flat that you’re blessed to have a car makes you a Pollyanna.   Continue reading...

Oscar Fulgham thought he was prepared the day a massive tornado leveled much of Tuscaloosa, Alabama. The 69-year-old former Army staff sergeant told the Los Angeles Times he’d been watching weather reports and planned to take refuge in his bathroom if the twister moved toward his one-story duplex. But no matter how much you think you’ve prepared for the unexpected, it can still catch you off-guard.

“You can’t believe how fast that thing was moving,” Fulgham said. “The sky turned black, and then it was on us before we had time to think.”

Fulgham made it to the bathroom just as violent winds clawed off the roof, exploded the windows, and blew out the walls. Six seconds. Fulgham survived, but in just six seconds, his home was gone.

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‘Tis the season for spending time with family and friends, for renewing acquaintances, for cookies and cocoa and Christmas stockings.

But for many people it’s a season to be reminded that you’ve lost loved ones with whom you once shared the holidays, another year has passed and your life isn’t where you’d hoped it would be, you’re unemployed or in debt and unable to shop with the abandon you’d like, or maybe you’re just lonely and depressed.

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If we’re not careful, we can get so caught up in our worries and woes that we forget our blessings. Lately life’s stresses have been weighing me down, but the other day a wise friend reminded me the constant through all my difficulties is that I’ve been loved. And that’s defnitely a reason to be thankful.

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But as anyone who’s read Robert Louis Stevenson’s classic novella or seen one of the many film adaptations knows, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde were one in the same.

We may never have kept company with physicians who experimented on themselves with strange potions, but we’ve probably all known at least one person who seemed to have dramatically different personalities depending on the cycle of the moon or which way the wind was blowing. And with all the stresses we’re under these days, it’s just possible we sometimes give off a little Jekyll-and-Hyde vibe ourselves.

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It was the summer of 1995, and in the 34 years since the Soviets first blasted off Yuri Gagarin, more than 300 American and Russian astronauts had totaled 38 years in space. Finally, the two Super Powers had arranged for their space travelers to spend some quality time together. Thagard would join two Russians for four months aboard the space station Mir. It would be the longest space trip ever undertaken by an American.

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